A Family Well Ordered

Every serious Christian is concerned, that he may be serviceable in the world.

Parents, if you don't first become yourselves pious, you will do nothing to purpose to make your children so.

Except you do yourselves walk in the way of the Lord, you will be very careless about bringing your children to such a walk.

Don't you know that your children have precious and immortal souls within them? They are not all flesh. You that are the parents of their flesh, must know, that your children have spirits also...

Are you loath to have [your children's] bodies laboring under infirmities, or deformities? You should be much more loath to have their souls pining away in their iniquities.

Parents, I am to tell you that if you let your children grow up without ever telling them that, and why, they were baptized into the name of the Lord, you are fearfully guilty of taking the name of the Lord in vain.

And, there are many points of good education that we should bestow upon our children; they should read, and write, and cypher [arithmetic], and be put unto some agreeable callings; and not only our sons, but our daughters also should be taught such things, as will afterwards make them useful in their places. There is a little foundation of religion laid in such an education. But besides, and beyond all this, there is an instruction in divine matters, which our children are to be make partakers of.

And for the better management of [our children's] instruction there are especially two handles, to be laid hold upon; the one is a proper catechism, the other is the public ministry.

Be sure that [your children] learn their catechism very perfectly; but then content not yourselves with hearing them say by memory the answers in their catechism; question them very distinctly over again about every clause in the answer and bring all to it so plain before them, that by their saying only yes or no, you may perceive that the sense of the truth is entered into their souls.

How often in a week are we diverting ourselves with our children in our houses? There they stand before us; there is nothing to hinder our saying some very profitable thing for them to think upon...

Don't by your lightness and weakness and folly suffer [your children] to trample upon you; but keep up so much authority that your word may be a law unto them.

Wherefore keep a strict inspection upon [your children's] conversations; examine how they spend their time.

Incur not the indignation of heaven, once incurred by a fond father in 1 Sam. 3:13; I will judge his house forever, for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.

Sirs, when your children do amiss, call them aside; set before them the precepts of God which they have broken and the threats of God which they provoked. Demand of them to profess their sorrow for their fault, and resolve that they will be no more so faulty.

But if it must be so, remember this counsel; never give a blow in a passion. Stay till your passion is over and the let the offenders plainly see that you deal this way with them, out of a pure obedience unto God, and for their true repentance.

Lay your charges upon your children; parents, charge them to work about their own salvation. The charges of parents have a great efficacy upon many children; to charge them vehemently is to charm them wonderfully.

Command your children and it may be they will obey. Let God's commands be your commands and it may be your children will obey them.

What was then said unto pastors may very fitly be said unto parents; in Titus 2:2, in all things show yourself a pattern of good works; and in Timothy 4:12, be thou an example in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

It will be impossible for you to infuse any good into your children if you appear void of that good yourselves.

Let [your children] from your seriousness, and your prayerfulness, and your watchfulness, and your sanctification of the Lord's day, be taught how they should walk and please God. You "bid" them well and "show" them how!

Prayer, prayer must be the crown of all; parents, is it your heart's desire?

Pray for the salvation of your children and carry the names of every one of them, every day before the Lord with prayers, the cries whereof shall pierce the very heavens. Holy Job did so!

Man, your family is a pagan family, if it be a prayerless family.

Oftentimes the fathers have the wisdom to keep up their authority, and keep themselves above the contempt of their children. But the mothers do more frequently by their fondness, and weakness, bring upon themselves the contempt of their children, and lay themselves low by many impertinencies.

Now, behold, the admonition of Heaven; the children which cast contempt upon their mothers do also bring themselves under the curse of God.

This is most certain, the more sinful any man is, the more cursed is that man. It is an amazing vengeance of God, that gives a sinner up to sin for sin, and curses a sinner for one sin, by leaving him to another.

Children, if you break the Fifth Commandment, there is not much likelihood that you will keep the rest; no, there is hazard that the curse of God will give you up to break every one of them all.

They who sin against their parents are sometimes by God given up to sin against all the world beside. Mind the most scandalous instances of wickedness and villainy; you'll ordinarily find they were first undutiful children, before they fell into the rest of their atrocious wickedness.

It was said in Prov. 20:20 - Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness. Children, if by undutifulness to your parents you incur the curse of God, it won't be long before you go down into obscure darkness, even into utter darkness: God has reserved for you the blackness of darkness forever.

Thou dost not value the wrath of your parents; it is a light thing to thee: but the wrath of the Lord God Omnipotent, oh, don't make light of that; it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God!

This is very certain; there is no point of religion more certainly and commonly rewarded with blessings in this world, than that of rendering unto parents the dues that pertain unto them.

Children, be blessings to your parents, and be assured, that those parents will be greater blessings to you than you can be to them.

First, you set light by your parents if you withhold from them the reverence that is due unto them. The God of Nature hath placed a distance between parents and their children; children then set light by their parents when they forget this distance.

Though [parents] should happen to do you any injuries, you may not show those resentments, that you have upon the injuries of other persons.

Secondly, you set light by your parents if you withhold from them the obedience that is due unto them.

Most of all, in the grand motions and changes of your life, children, your parents are to be consulted, and the satisfaction of your parents is to be proposed.

Thirdly, you set light by your parents if you withhold from them the recompense that is due unto them. Those children evidently set light by their parents, who are insensible of the obligations which their parents have laid upon them, or, who count anything too much to be done by children for their parents.

Of all faults in your servants, I advise you, masters [fathers], never let that of lying be unpunished.

Is it not the instruction of your father that thou shouldest avoid all vicious company; and that thou shouldest pray in secret every day; and that thou should read and hear the Word of God, with assiduity [diligence, zeal, constancy]? Or if not so, yet it may be, the law of your mother, who is in travailing pains for thee, to see Christ formed in thee.

But schools, wherein the youth may, by able masters, be taught the things that are necessary to qualify them for future serviceableness, and have their manners therewithal well-formed under a laudable discipline, and be over and above well-catechised in the principles of religion, those would be a glory of our land, and the preservatives of all other glory.